


Crossed Wires

by sharedwithyou



Category: Captain America (Movies), Captain America - All Media Types, Iron Man (Movies), Iron Man - All Media Types, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types, Thor (Movies), Thor - All Media Types
Genre: Angst and Humor, Bruce Banner Feels, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Mindfuck, Mostly Angst?, Mostly humor, Reader-Insert
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-13
Updated: 2016-04-13
Packaged: 2018-06-02 03:21:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,488
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6548587
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sharedwithyou/pseuds/sharedwithyou
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“Dude. This is like your second try. Relax. Rome wasn’t built in a day. I mean if Rome was a stud. Or at least someone who succeeded in asking their coworker out.”<br/>“She’s more than a co-worker!” Steve objected, before realizing the trap he’d fallen into it. This time it was Clint who had to dodge a punch.<br/>“I don’t know about you guys, but I’m pretty sure I was born a player,” Iron Ego offered.<br/>“More like a slut.”<br/>“Hey, Tasha!! No slut shaming!”<br/>“I have nothing against sluts. Just you.”</p>
            </blockquote>





	Crossed Wires

**Author's Note:**

> hey lovelies!!!!
> 
> i'm back from a long visit and filled with ideas!!!
> 
> this is a pretty unique fic as it is part angst/part humor but ALL FUN!!!  
> yes?!?! how does that make sense?!?! well it just does. count it as a mindfuck.
> 
> leave me a comment if you guys enjoy!!
> 
> now go read!!!

 

Nothing like someone asking you if you’re doing okay to make someone who’s otherwise feeling okay to suddenly not feel okay.

“Well?”

You gave him a confused smile. “Yes, I’m fine. Why?”

“Oh. Uh, just wondering.”

He gave you a nervous grin right back before walking away.

 

“Nailed it Steve.”

Thor tried to hide his laugh with a cough as Clint pat him on the back.

“Thanks, Tony.”

“I think he was being sarcastic.” Bucky offered from the couch.

“Ah.” He batted away Clint’s punch on the shoulder and sat next to his best friend dejectedly. “I’m never gonna get this right.”

“Dude. This is like your second try. Relax. Rome wasn’t built in a day. I mean if Rome was a stud. Or at least someone who succeeded in asking their coworker out.”

“She’s more than a co-worker!” Steve objected, before realizing the trap he’d fallen into it. This time it was Clint who had to dodge a punch.

“I don’t know about you guys, but I’m pretty sure I was born a player,” Iron Ego offered.

“More like a slut.”

“Hey, Tasha!! No slut shaming!”

“I have nothing against sluts. Just you.”

 

 

“Hey Bruce.”

The gentle giant jumped as you walked into the lab, nearly dropping his test tube.

“Careful. That would be the third of the week.”

He smiled sheepishly. “You’ve been visiting more often.”

“Hey. Don’t blame me for your butterfingers.” You pushed away the memory of Tony telling you to wear a bell…and his kinky comments after, and walked up to give him a kiss on the cheek.

He drew away instinctively, before holding very still so you could accomplish your mission.

“See, that wasn’t so hard.”

“Maybe to you.” The look on his face made you want to go for his lips, but you knew better; so you just took the test tube out of his hand and placed it on the hand before formula got everywhere.

And ignored the thought of Tony’s “special chemical” spill jokes.

 

“So, uh, any thoughts of where she went?”

“Who?”

“(Y/n), you idiot.”

“Oh.” Thor tried to not look lost at Bucky’s answer or Steve's question. Hadn’t they finished this conversation earlier? He supposed most people would have gotten things done by now. Or at least forgotten about it after the 3 hour Criminal Minds marathon.

“Probably in the lab,” Tony replied lazily, barely looking up from Fallout.

“She’s been spending a lot of time there lately.”

“I don’t see what’s so suspicious about that.”

Nat the Cat gave him a really odd look. “I never said it was.”

“I can tell when your spidey senses are on.”

“They’re always on, Brother Tony.”

“Yeah whatever.” Tony stretched and finally got away from the bar. “I should probably go get some work done.”

“Really? Egomaniac Tony is finally accepting that his body isn’t perfect? Finally taking my advice for some botox?”

“Fuck off, Clint.”

 

Clint gave Nat the Cat a shared superspy glance.

 

“So, uh, I guess I’ll just go see her later then.” Steve had been practicing his conversation skills in his mind and didn’t notice the conversation had been derailed.

“Nonsense. He’s clearly in a great place. Go find (Y/n) and ask her out in front of him.”

“Uh…”

“He’s being sarcastic, Steve.” Bucky cleared that up for the Supersoldier. Er, other Supersoldier.

It was Thor who said what everyone else (besides distracted Steve) was thinking.

 

“Well, that escalated quickly.”

 

 

“Cover up lovebirds, I’m bursting in.”

You rolled your eyes, but let go of Bruce’s hand gently as the Alcoholic walked in.

“You know, most people don’t announce it if they’re bursting in,” Bruce added absentmindedly as he scribbled some notes.

“Bro, you’re still not using the laptop I got you?!” Tony had chosen to ignore his comment.

“I can’t help it. I’m more used to pen and paper.”

“Besides, it gives him more time to spend with me.” You nudged Bruce slightly, before noticing Tony rolling his eyes. “Though I suppose I could help you if you need it, oh Great Inventor Stark.”

“Pass.” Tony booted up his version of a laptop; the humongo screen that could drag-n-drop. By hand!

“Sure.” You turned back to Bruce and whispered something in his ear, to which he chuckled softly.

“Great. Now you have your little lovebird secrets too.” Tony groaned.

“It’s not-“ You and Bruce both started, before looking at each other and trying not to giggle.

“Oh and by the way. It’s Oh Great Inventor and Sexter Stark.”

“And there it is.” You finished for the both of you.

Both you and Bruce, you meant.

 

 

“Hey (y/n), how are you?”

“Hey (y/n), what’s cooking? Ugh.” Steve shook his head and was unfortunate to be passed by Tony on his way back from the lab. He gave him a guffaw and a thumbs up, before making a beeline for the bar.

“Hey (y/n), what is up?” Steve practiced. Still didn’t feel quite right.

“Hey (y/n), how you doin?” He finally decided on channeling a character from his favorite show of all time.

If anyone knew how to pick up girls, it was Joey Tribiani. Not that he wanted to pick up (y/n).

He just-

Maybe he should just get on with trying to ask you out. Yeah.

 

“Hey (Y/n),” he spoke tentatively as he saw you making some corrections to some notes. Bruce was nowhere to be found; Steve was relieved there wasn’t an audience.

Then he realized it was just you and him and got nervous all over again.

“Uh, (y/n)?”

“What is it, Steve?” You gave him a curious look, putting away your notes. It seemed like he had something important on his mind. You tried not to sigh as you prepared yourself for The Talk.

 

“…How are you doing?” Crap. That’s not how Joey said it. He cleared his throat awkwardly.

 

“Okay, okay, I give.”

Steve’s eyebrows shot up to the roof, but you ignored it. “I still miss Tony. God, it pisses me off.”

“…right.”

“I know, I know, Bruce is a better guy. God, I know!!” You looked at him for confirmation, but he was still giving you a weird look which made you feel more defensive.

“We just don’t have chemistry.”

“I-“

“And don’t make a pun!” You snapped, and Steve snapped his gaping open mouth shut.

“I know Bruce is the dependable one. And dependable is good. But I’m already independent! I don’t need someone to depend on.”

“…yes?”

“I want fire! Okay that sounds gay. I mean, lame. Nothing wrong with being gay. Not that you are.”

“…no?”

“Right. I mean Clint makes all those Stucky jokes but I know you’re not. Well 90% sure. I’m questioning everything I know right now. My judgement is all warped.

But I think my gaydar is still on point.”

“I’m not gay.” It was the first sentence Steve was able to manage.

“Sure, sure.” You waved at that comment dismissively, causing the Supersoldier to redden, not realizing you were dismissing it because it was an obvious known and no because you didn’t believe him. Still, you went on.

“Look, I just need some time.”

“…fine?”

“I know I shouldn’t be stringing them both along. Well, Bruce anyway. Tony’s kind of out of the loop. Or out of his mind.”

“Something like that,” Steve managed, glad that he earned a laugh. Even though it cracked at the end.

“But I think he can still tell I’m into him. Which is not good!!! Especially for his ego. And my sanity.”

“…” Steve had officially run out of things to say.

“So just; try to stay off my back for this one, okay? I know you mean well.”

He gave you a defeated look, which you took as understanding.

“Thanks for listening to my rant, Steve.” You gave him a grateful smile, and he offered a small one in return.

“You’re welcome.”

“Well, I’m gonna go put on something hot and make Stark jealous. Hopefully the blueballs will kill him. Then all my problems will be solved.” You gave Steve a quick hug and a kiss on the cheek.

“But-“

“You’re right; if Tony was dead, shit would just get out of control. Well, even more out of control than it already is.”

You gave him a friendly squeeze, and then you were off, skipping down the hall to find something slutty. Or someone.

 

He stared after you, slightly heartbroken and thoroughly confused.

 

 

“Hey, Steve.”

He whipped around.

“Oh my God.”

“Yeah.”

“Bruce…”

 

The scientist covered his face with a large, rough hand, before rubbing his temples.

“Go on, ask me.” He replied with a relenting voice, not sure if he was truly prepared for what was coming.

 

Steve was silent for what seemed to him like a long moment.

 

“Is that what’s supposed to happen when you try to ask someone out to dinner?”

 

**Author's Note:**

> OHHH MY!!!!!!!
> 
> leave a comment if you liked!!!
> 
> random ramblings:  
> poll 1: how much do you hate me for leaving things the way they were?!?!
> 
> i really wanted to resolve more stuff, but the ending was just too classic
> 
> three guys are into you, lovelies. i think this is a new record. at least in a one-shot.  
> hmm. makes me want to break it again
> 
> poll 2: WHOOOO?????  
> i've been watching the captain america civil trailer and getting mad at steve and bucky OVER AND OVER again because you guys know tony is my first love. sorry clint.  
> but then i can't actually be mean to steve in my fics because he's such a sweetie.  
> so all i can really do is have reader be with someone else.  
> but even then i leave him mostly confused instead of angsty.
> 
> i'm going with tony in this one. even though i love bruce. (he's my number two. SORRY CLINT!!) i just want to give tony all this love right now. *Cries*
> 
> anyway steve basically asks if you're okay at the beginning of the fic because he couldn't even ask how are you/ whats up properly. which spirals your brain into the current situation, of which he is COMPLETELY oblivious.  
> and then continues to be oblivious throughout the entire fic  
> then again even nat the cat is supsicious (but not completely sure) of whats going on between you and tony
> 
> poll 3: what do you guys think about a possible sequel?  
> i'm not sure how i would continue it, but i'm also not used to writing an angst+humor fic with such little fluff... and such an unsatisfactory ending. that being said, let me know the effects such ending has on you ;)
> 
> poll 4: did you guys have a least/most favorite part?  
> my fav would have to be when bruce tries very hard not to run away from your kiss on the cheek  
> which probably makes my least favorite part when he overhears your conversation with stevie...and doesn't get noticed until later
> 
> yes you gave both brucie and stevie kisses on the cheek. it's kind of supposed to show how they're both your friends... and only friends  
> also you let go of bruce's hand when tony comes in because you know it will bother him otherwise... another sign you're not quite over him
> 
> whooo this was a crazy load of feels and laughs jumbled into a short-ish one-shot. WHY ARE THEY WAY LONGER WHEN I'M TYPING THEM.  
> THEY LOOK SHORT BUT THEY TOOK A LOT OF WORK.
> 
> well that's all this time lovelies!!! talk to y'all soon!! 
> 
> XOXO Bucky (I shouldn't have to distinguish but yes it is the mindfucker not the one who makes Steve betray Tony.)


End file.
